Third Day is one of my favorite bands, but I hadn't heard this song in a while. After listening to it tonight, I realized this is so the soundtrack song to my prayer life right now. It really lyricizes where I'm at with summer project, and leadership. I got the lyrics down and wanted to share them. Check the song out if you haven't heard it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEn74zP1glQ&feature=youtube_gdata.
My life,
Has led me down the road that's so uncertain
And now I am left alone and I am broken,
Trying to find my way,
Trying to find the faith that's gone
This time,
I know that you are holding all the answers
I'm tired of losing hope and taking chances,
On roads that never seem,
To be the ones that bring me home
Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I've been trying to find my way,
I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without You
I've got nothing without You
My life,
Has led me down this path that's ever winding
Through every twist and turn I'm always finding,
That I am lost again (I am lost again)
Tell me when this road will ever end
Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I've been trying to find my way,
I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without You
I've got nothing without...
I don't know where I can turn
Tell me when will I learn
Won't You show me where I need to go
Oh oh
Let me follow Your lead,
I know that it's the only way that I can get back home
Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I've been trying to find my way,
I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without You
I've got nothing without You
Oh, give me a revelation...
I've got nothing without You
I've got nothing without You
19 May, 2010
18 May, 2010
Crossing the Jordan...
This is going to be long. I'm sorry. If you continue to read what follows, settle in. A friend who's a much more interesting blogger than I am said of her own thoughts, that "...90 percent of what I write on this blog is for what it produces on the inside, and only 10 percent for what it produces on paper." This holds true for me as well. So with that prefaced, I"ll share with you my heart. Read away random blog followers.
As I sit inside the club level lounge of a new, trendy hotel in my home town of Overland Park (yeah, chilling in hotels isn't weird or anything) looking out on the town and trying not to reflect on the fact that had I not changed my major a year ago, I would be graduated right now, I am reading Joshua from the Old Testament. If you know me really well, you know that Joshua is kinda my hero of faith that I really dig and relate to at the moment. I see so many things that God is doing in my life that has prepared me to cross my own Jordan River in the coming weeks and months, and I am daily looking to how Joshua lived life through trusting God's leadership in his life, so that the could lead those in his care.
In 5 days, I will be leaving for Athens, Greece for six weeks to do a ministry project. The thing is, is that I have to raise $2000 in those 5 days. If Athens is the "land that God has promised" with His calling for my life this summer, I have a huge Jordan River to cross before I can get there. But, I am ready, and I am prepared to make the crossing. I know that God is directing my steps, and as I get closer and closer to the river bank, He will provide a way. I mentioned earlier in my blog, that Proverbs 16:9 has been my theme verse over the lat four years as God has prepared me from this awkward and shy boy, into the man and leader He has called me to be. But up until recently, I always knew the verse as God determined our steps (which He absolutely does), but I was shown recently another perspective on this life verse for me. The ESV translation of 16:9 says "In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord establishes his steps." I really like the use of 'establishes' here, rather than determines, because while God does determine our steps, He calls us to paths in our heart when we follow them, and then He establishes our way and steps according to the path He has called us to.
As I prepare for Greece, I've been battered with 'what ifs' and Plan B's in regards to support raising. After reading Joshua tonight, I am reaffirmed in my faith that Plan B's aren't in step with faith. Faith is the essence of things hoped for; of things not seen. Going back to the heroes of faith mentioned in Hebrews 11, they didn't have Plan B's. Noah didn't build the Ark with life boats, or even build the thing next to the tallest mountain he could find in case God had given him bad construction plans. Moses didn't lead the people out of Egypt and get to the Red Sea with the intention of soldiering men to fight the pursuing force behind them. Joshua didn't lead the people down to the banks of the Jordan River thinking they could just build a bridge to get across. These guys didn't have back-up plans. They heard God's call for them, they believed, and He established their steps.
I realize that God has led me exactly where I am right now for a reason. As someone who has been exploring the calling of ministry and missions in my life, I look to 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 as an answer to this. But I also have to believe and cling to trusting that God will be glorified through me this summer. He has led me to this place where I have a Red see in front of me, a desert surrounding me, and an army behind me. The amazing thing that I think we forget all too often in the world we live in today, is that the same God who we pray too in our beds, driving our cars, in our safe churches, is the God who parted that sea, stopped that river, even raised a man from the dead, and conquered death Himself!
God asks for us to daily pick up our cross and follow Jesus. To deny ourselves the safety and sure footedness of what we could have in the world, and leap out unto faith that He will catch us. He never tells us when His safe and secure arms will catch us, only that He wont let us hit the ground. I know that when I am at my ropes end within summer, He will catch me.
Ultimately, in one week, I believe that I will be on a plane over the Great Pond right now. While I prayerfully trust Him to establish my steps in Greece, I know He will determine my steps for His glory.
As I sit inside the club level lounge of a new, trendy hotel in my home town of Overland Park (yeah, chilling in hotels isn't weird or anything) looking out on the town and trying not to reflect on the fact that had I not changed my major a year ago, I would be graduated right now, I am reading Joshua from the Old Testament. If you know me really well, you know that Joshua is kinda my hero of faith that I really dig and relate to at the moment. I see so many things that God is doing in my life that has prepared me to cross my own Jordan River in the coming weeks and months, and I am daily looking to how Joshua lived life through trusting God's leadership in his life, so that the could lead those in his care.
In 5 days, I will be leaving for Athens, Greece for six weeks to do a ministry project. The thing is, is that I have to raise $2000 in those 5 days. If Athens is the "land that God has promised" with His calling for my life this summer, I have a huge Jordan River to cross before I can get there. But, I am ready, and I am prepared to make the crossing. I know that God is directing my steps, and as I get closer and closer to the river bank, He will provide a way. I mentioned earlier in my blog, that Proverbs 16:9 has been my theme verse over the lat four years as God has prepared me from this awkward and shy boy, into the man and leader He has called me to be. But up until recently, I always knew the verse as God determined our steps (which He absolutely does), but I was shown recently another perspective on this life verse for me. The ESV translation of 16:9 says "In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord establishes his steps." I really like the use of 'establishes' here, rather than determines, because while God does determine our steps, He calls us to paths in our heart when we follow them, and then He establishes our way and steps according to the path He has called us to.
As I prepare for Greece, I've been battered with 'what ifs' and Plan B's in regards to support raising. After reading Joshua tonight, I am reaffirmed in my faith that Plan B's aren't in step with faith. Faith is the essence of things hoped for; of things not seen. Going back to the heroes of faith mentioned in Hebrews 11, they didn't have Plan B's. Noah didn't build the Ark with life boats, or even build the thing next to the tallest mountain he could find in case God had given him bad construction plans. Moses didn't lead the people out of Egypt and get to the Red Sea with the intention of soldiering men to fight the pursuing force behind them. Joshua didn't lead the people down to the banks of the Jordan River thinking they could just build a bridge to get across. These guys didn't have back-up plans. They heard God's call for them, they believed, and He established their steps.
I realize that God has led me exactly where I am right now for a reason. As someone who has been exploring the calling of ministry and missions in my life, I look to 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 as an answer to this. But I also have to believe and cling to trusting that God will be glorified through me this summer. He has led me to this place where I have a Red see in front of me, a desert surrounding me, and an army behind me. The amazing thing that I think we forget all too often in the world we live in today, is that the same God who we pray too in our beds, driving our cars, in our safe churches, is the God who parted that sea, stopped that river, even raised a man from the dead, and conquered death Himself!
God asks for us to daily pick up our cross and follow Jesus. To deny ourselves the safety and sure footedness of what we could have in the world, and leap out unto faith that He will catch us. He never tells us when His safe and secure arms will catch us, only that He wont let us hit the ground. I know that when I am at my ropes end within summer, He will catch me.
Ultimately, in one week, I believe that I will be on a plane over the Great Pond right now. While I prayerfully trust Him to establish my steps in Greece, I know He will determine my steps for His glory.
02 May, 2010
Learning to be Still...
I'm writing something this evening that is completely different than what I had intended to share this weekend. God's been teaching me a lot the last few weeks about leadership, giving, humility (You can see I've been getting quite an education) and I have so much I need to express through these lessons. But as I sit writing this this evening, I am also able to realize that if God had worked things the way I had planned for them to go even half of the time over the last four years, I'd be graduating from college in less than a week. Instead of worrying about summer plans, roommates for this fall, and what classes I still need to get into, I could be worrying a lot more about grad school and seminaries accepting me, careers getting started, living costs, and a whole ton of stuff that I'm thankful that I'm not 'grown up' enough to have to deal with just yet.
Life have been speeding up to 200 miles per hour over the last few weeks, as it tend to do this time of year I guess. And as it's been getting faster and faster, I've become so heavy with feelings of responsibility, provision, and my plans working out with life's big 'to-do's.
Finally, this evening I just couldn't take it anymore. I just needed to get out and clear my head. I took off on a motorcycle ride towards Goshen, AR not intending to go far; a quick jaunt if you will. I quickly found myself trying to work out some frustration and anxiety by pushing the riding experience and twisting the throttle a little more than I should have (don't tell my mom, please), when as I come up to a nice straight-away, I see this quiet little pasture. It was sad knowing that it was waiting to be ruined by more housing development. But for now, it was too picturesque to pass by. I pulled up, parked my bike, and hiked out to it a little ways where I found this little hill, overlooking a gorgeous field of flowers, a glassy, meandering pond, and a backdrop of trees and hills that slapped me into remembering just how beautiful Arkansas is around here.
It was only after quietly sitting down in the grass, that I felt like God's peace come over my heart with all of my weight I've been carrying. I guess it was the kind of thing that is described in Phillipians 4:7 because I remembered the below out of nowhere.
"Be still, and know that I AM God, exalted among the nations." Psalm 46:10
"Trust in the Lord and do what is good; dwell in the land and live securely. Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act, making your righteousness shine like the dawn, your justice like the noonday. Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for Him." Psalm 37:1-7
It was only after reading these that I realized how much I've been seeking God in everything, but lately I haven't allowed Him any room to do things Hid way. I haven't completely trusted my will and desires to Him. A friend sent me something this week that talked about this with a way wiser perspective than I can convey, and it can be found here: http://profile.purposedriven.com/dailyhope/post.html?contentid=4332. The biggest things I took from this though was this "Genuine surrender says, "Father, if this problem, pain, sickness, or circumstance is needed to fulfill your purpose and glory in my life or in another's life, please don't take it away!"
I read the story in the gospel of where Jesus prays this prayer to God in complete surrendered silence, and it made me realize how seldom I slow down enough during life's speeding by, to simply be quiet, and surrender my situation, circumstances, relationships, and dreams to Him. After all, He never fails, and as Psalm 37:34 says "Put your hope in the Lord and wait on Him; travel steadily along His path and you will inherit the land."
So as I fight thoughts of anxiety about support raising deadlines for Greece this summer, housing for next year, and all of the other things that life demands done, I am renewed to be still, wait for Him, and know that He's got it covered anyway, and His way is what I want.
Life have been speeding up to 200 miles per hour over the last few weeks, as it tend to do this time of year I guess. And as it's been getting faster and faster, I've become so heavy with feelings of responsibility, provision, and my plans working out with life's big 'to-do's.
Finally, this evening I just couldn't take it anymore. I just needed to get out and clear my head. I took off on a motorcycle ride towards Goshen, AR not intending to go far; a quick jaunt if you will. I quickly found myself trying to work out some frustration and anxiety by pushing the riding experience and twisting the throttle a little more than I should have (don't tell my mom, please), when as I come up to a nice straight-away, I see this quiet little pasture. It was sad knowing that it was waiting to be ruined by more housing development. But for now, it was too picturesque to pass by. I pulled up, parked my bike, and hiked out to it a little ways where I found this little hill, overlooking a gorgeous field of flowers, a glassy, meandering pond, and a backdrop of trees and hills that slapped me into remembering just how beautiful Arkansas is around here.
It was only after quietly sitting down in the grass, that I felt like God's peace come over my heart with all of my weight I've been carrying. I guess it was the kind of thing that is described in Phillipians 4:7 because I remembered the below out of nowhere.
"Be still, and know that I AM God, exalted among the nations." Psalm 46:10
"Trust in the Lord and do what is good; dwell in the land and live securely. Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act, making your righteousness shine like the dawn, your justice like the noonday. Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for Him." Psalm 37:1-7
It was only after reading these that I realized how much I've been seeking God in everything, but lately I haven't allowed Him any room to do things Hid way. I haven't completely trusted my will and desires to Him. A friend sent me something this week that talked about this with a way wiser perspective than I can convey, and it can be found here: http://profile.purposedriven.com/dailyhope/post.html?contentid=4332. The biggest things I took from this though was this "Genuine surrender says, "Father, if this problem, pain, sickness, or circumstance is needed to fulfill your purpose and glory in my life or in another's life, please don't take it away!"
I read the story in the gospel of where Jesus prays this prayer to God in complete surrendered silence, and it made me realize how seldom I slow down enough during life's speeding by, to simply be quiet, and surrender my situation, circumstances, relationships, and dreams to Him. After all, He never fails, and as Psalm 37:34 says "Put your hope in the Lord and wait on Him; travel steadily along His path and you will inherit the land."
So as I fight thoughts of anxiety about support raising deadlines for Greece this summer, housing for next year, and all of the other things that life demands done, I am renewed to be still, wait for Him, and know that He's got it covered anyway, and His way is what I want.
18 April, 2010
Following
Passage of the Day:
John 6:47-69
Verse of the Day:
2 Corinthians 12:10
So because of Christ, I am pleased in weakness, insults, catastrophes, in persecutions, and in pressures. For when I am weak, then I am Strong.
I don't have as much time to write what I want to, and I want to write a lot. God has done a ton in my life over the last few days, and it has to be shared. What I can say right now though, is that the above passage and verse are being amplified in my life through extraordinary ways right now. I'm daily learning the power of dying daily, and that without Christ's power overtaking my flesh, I am completely weak and worthless. In communication, relationships, plans, leadership,actions, thoughts. Everything. When Christ asks, "Who will you follow, disciple?", I will answer You, and You alone. There are more reasons for this cry of my heart than I can count, but one of them, is that following Christ gives me Strength to do all things. Apart from Him, I can do nothing. But in Him, I can be the man He made me to be. Who will I follow? I will follow Him, and follow Him strongly.
John 6:47-69
Verse of the Day:
2 Corinthians 12:10
So because of Christ, I am pleased in weakness, insults, catastrophes, in persecutions, and in pressures. For when I am weak, then I am Strong.
I don't have as much time to write what I want to, and I want to write a lot. God has done a ton in my life over the last few days, and it has to be shared. What I can say right now though, is that the above passage and verse are being amplified in my life through extraordinary ways right now. I'm daily learning the power of dying daily, and that without Christ's power overtaking my flesh, I am completely weak and worthless. In communication, relationships, plans, leadership,actions, thoughts. Everything. When Christ asks, "Who will you follow, disciple?", I will answer You, and You alone. There are more reasons for this cry of my heart than I can count, but one of them, is that following Christ gives me Strength to do all things. Apart from Him, I can do nothing. But in Him, I can be the man He made me to be. Who will I follow? I will follow Him, and follow Him strongly.
14 April, 2010
Dirt Road
I've had a lot of thoughts lately of regret. Regret from the fact that, here I am, almost at the end of this semester (my eighth, mind you) and God has supplied me with so many underserved privileges, responsibilities, experiences, roles, and last but absolutely not the least, relationships, and I have not recorded them. If anybody has noticed a gap since my last entry, all I can say is I'm really sorry. I've cheated not just you, in that I haven't shared what the Lord has done for, and in my life, but I've cheated myself as well. If you know me well, you know that I love reflection. Proverbs 16:1 says "The reflections of a man's are his...". I read a quote recently that said, What good is a life, if nothing is learned from it?" While I'll always have these God given experiences, I wish I would have shared them with you more. I am turning over a new leaf though. If I don't, keep me accountable, I promise, God is always doing enough in our lives to share with each other.
I'm writing this at dusk of a beautiful evening in Fayetteville...in the middle of a field. If you haven't seen it, there is a gorgeous field near Garland and Drake, where the University does it's agricultural research. It's open all the time, and while its pretty obscure, I discovered it's a perfect place to connect with God through His creation. I parked my car in the middle of this little dirt road to have some reflection on the last few days, and semester as a whole. I eventually noticed this dirt road just appeared to go on forever into the sunset, and it made me think of where the title of this blog came from, Proverbs 16:9. I started to think how my life is like this dirt road. With its rough patches, bumpy ride, loose gravel, and open expanses on both sides with which to deviate off of the path. My life is pretty similar. This semester, I've definitely had my rough patches, and I've hit some speed bumps. There have been a lot of things that I've learned about myself that I had to learn without a smooth realization. There have been quite a few times this semester, where my footing wasn't sure on some 'gravely' issues. And lastly, there have been times where the open expanses, which contain all of the things that the world uses to get me off of God's dirt road path for my life, have tried to tempt me off course.
I look back on this road though, bumps, loose spots and all, and am unspeakably thankful for it. Because they have all taught me things which I needed to know to see Gods plan for my life. I'll unpack these things soon,, because like I said earlier, what good is my life, if nothing is shared or produced from it? But to wrap up for tonight, I think the best thing about my time out in this field was when I actually walked down this road. I actually thought with each step about the course and plans I had made for this semester, but how God had directed my steps completely differently. I stopped to look at the road ahead, and what I saw was a truly awesome destination! Rest assured, God won't get me there with the steps I plan to take, but with the steps that He leads me in, and they will be the best yet!
I'm writing this at dusk of a beautiful evening in Fayetteville...in the middle of a field. If you haven't seen it, there is a gorgeous field near Garland and Drake, where the University does it's agricultural research. It's open all the time, and while its pretty obscure, I discovered it's a perfect place to connect with God through His creation. I parked my car in the middle of this little dirt road to have some reflection on the last few days, and semester as a whole. I eventually noticed this dirt road just appeared to go on forever into the sunset, and it made me think of where the title of this blog came from, Proverbs 16:9. I started to think how my life is like this dirt road. With its rough patches, bumpy ride, loose gravel, and open expanses on both sides with which to deviate off of the path. My life is pretty similar. This semester, I've definitely had my rough patches, and I've hit some speed bumps. There have been a lot of things that I've learned about myself that I had to learn without a smooth realization. There have been quite a few times this semester, where my footing wasn't sure on some 'gravely' issues. And lastly, there have been times where the open expanses, which contain all of the things that the world uses to get me off of God's dirt road path for my life, have tried to tempt me off course.
I look back on this road though, bumps, loose spots and all, and am unspeakably thankful for it. Because they have all taught me things which I needed to know to see Gods plan for my life. I'll unpack these things soon,, because like I said earlier, what good is my life, if nothing is shared or produced from it? But to wrap up for tonight, I think the best thing about my time out in this field was when I actually walked down this road. I actually thought with each step about the course and plans I had made for this semester, but how God had directed my steps completely differently. I stopped to look at the road ahead, and what I saw was a truly awesome destination! Rest assured, God won't get me there with the steps I plan to take, but with the steps that He leads me in, and they will be the best yet!
16 February, 2010
The toughest step yet
I've commanded you to be strong and brave. Don't ever be afraid or discouraged! I am the LORD your God, and I will be there to help you wherever you go.
-Joshua 1:9
Tonight, I had to do the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I've never experienced fear so gripping that it physically manifested itself in me with bodily shaking. Everything in me wanted to turn, run out the doors, and hide. But as I remembered what God has been convicting me of so much lately, which is that nothing is by my will; it's His will or it's not good enough; I kept picturing Christ asking to have the cup taken from him, but ultimately asking if it were to be taken, that it would not be his will, but the Father's. I knew I was called to do this thing. Almost like everything my life had lead up to thus far, all of the growth I felt so confident I had experienced lately, was to be tested in this blind, convicting, humbling task. Before I stepped out to 'take the cup', I suddenly remembered the verse at the top of this entry. I realized tonight, that God will never ask us to do something that Christ didn't have to do as well. We both asked for the cup to be taken, the task we were convicted of, but it was not to be. Instead, we have the command (that's right, Josh 1:9 isn't encouragement, it's an order) that we are to be strong, brave, courageous. The verse almost makes it sound absurd that we would ever be afraid. We have the God of the universe with us, wherever we go! As I stepped out tonight, before I uttered a word from my larynx, I knew He was with me because He had called me to do this. And in the same way He didn't take the cup from His own son for His glory, he would be glorified through this son, because He had called me to do it in the first place. So if anyone is actually reading this, I am literally praying that right now, you would be strong, courageous, brave, and if He doesn't take the cup back, don't be afraid. He's with you because He asked you to take it in the first place.
04 February, 2010
"Whatever you say or do should be done in the name of the Lord Jesus, as you give thanks to God the Father because of him"-Colossians 3:17
As I christen this blog with the above verse, I'm listening to The Verve's 'Lucky Man'. I really cannot tell you how much I am obsessed with this song. It hits the self-perception of my life on so many levels right now. But I digress.
Like I was saying, Col. 3:17. This verse is what I have been attempting in every level of action and communication over the past few months, and as such, I wanted to initiate this blog with that being the very textual beginning. This may be a little too deep,sappy, whatev, but it is my prayer that this blog; this superfluous form of self expression would be as the Word above emplores...to bring glory to Him, in word and deed.
I'll warn ya. There will likely not be anything profound on here. If you don't like what you've read so far, I implore you, use your browser and find something more entertaining, it won't likely change.
Till tomorrow, read below. Excited for the morning yet?
I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.—Psalm 59:16
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